When the Pain Disappears, The Beauty Remains

by Barbra on March 27, 2009

"The world outside" by Barbra Sundquist

"The world outside" by Barbra Sundquist

Many of us get discouraged when results don’t happen as fast as we think they should. The fact is, most change happens in a “two steps forward, one step back” kind of way. It takes dedicated effort and sticking with the program.

We get what we want through practice

Many BACC participants are now at the end of their third month. This is typically the point where people start to drop out. It’s important to realize that wanting to drop out at this point is very normal. The euphoria of “beginning” has passed, and now it feels like hard work. We start to think “maybe this isn’t the right time” – when in fact it is exactly the right time to stay in the process.

The real irony of growth

The following passage is from Journey into Power, by yoga teacher Baron Baptiste. Although he is talking about yoga practice, I think his words fit very well for any kind of challenging goal we are working towards:

The real irony of spiritual growth is that instead of being some miraculous experience, it feels a lot more like going to pieces. As soon as we open ourselves and our lives up [for growth], suddenly all kinds of unpleasant feelings come to the surface. We experience fear, disappointment, shame, even rage – certainly not the rosy, glowing epiphanies they promised in the brochure!

If you ask for wisdom or higher virtues, know that they only come through trials and tribulations. If you ask for inner peace, [the universe] will send you a storm in which to practice and cultivate peace. We get what we want through practice. There’s no such thing as a free lunch in the spiritual realm. You can stay stagnant in your comfort zone… but in order to transcend yourself and gain wisdom, you need to go through the fire, walk on hot coals, travel through the desert of your own mind, and come through on the other side transformed.

There is a famous story about Renoir and Matisse, who were friends. One day, Matisse visited his friend Renoir and watched him paint. Renoir suffered from terrible arthritis, and every stroke of the brush caused him immense pain. “Why do you do this to yourself?” Matisse asked. “Because when the pain disappears, the beauty remains,” Renoir replied.

The road to growth always passes through confusion, frustration, and pain. People sabotage their growth because they give up in those difficult moments. But if you stay in it, stay open, relax and breathe, a breakthrough is right there on the other side.

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