Become A Certified Coach » Coaching Tips

What is Charge-Neutral? The Opposite of Drama Queen

Barbra — Sat, 02 May 2009 17:11:28 +0000

When coaching we strive to be “charge-neutral”. What does “charge-neutral” mean? Ruth-Ann Harnisch sums it up as “the opposite of a drama queen”. She goes on to explain:

Charge-neutral is a tone, an attitude, a way of being. It’s the opposite of a drama queen. It’s the non-judgmental way to approach a client.

Clients don’t need the coach’s approval or disapproval – the coach’s opinion should be kept out of the coaching relationship. The coach is not there to impose judgment or emotion – the coach is there to support the client. It’s not about the coach’s feelings – it’s about the client’s feelings.

My first coach showed me why this is so important…by judging me. I made a statement about an issue I was facing. The coach received this information and responded with a simple “Oh?” Imagine that word loaded with OPINION. In that moment, I knew the coach was not relating to me AT ALL

… friends, colleagues, proteges, others are welcome to my opinion, but my clients don’t need my judgment.

Feedback Template for Coaching Triads

Barbra — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 21:37:36 +0000

This feedback template may be used as a guide for the Observer in a coaching triad to structure constructive feedback.

If time is limited ask Coach which of the three areas (skills, presence or expertise) they would most like feedback on.

Feedback Template

The Coach asked for specific feedback on ______________ and ____________.

1) COACHING SKILLS

The strongest thing I noticed about your coaching skills was …
This was particularly evident when…
If I had to suggest one area for improvement it would be …

2) PERSONAL PRESENCE

The gift you bring to others is your…
The impact it seemed to have on the client was…
An area to work on might be…

3) SUBJECT MATTER EXPERTISE

You really helped the client when you offered expertise in this area…
This was particularly evident when you said…
It would have been helpful if you had expertise in _______to offer.

Recap: when giving feedback in a practice triad…

* take notes so you can give specifics
* focus on feedback to coach, not ideas to client
* give two “positives” for every “negative”

Practice Triads for Coaches

Barbra — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 02:52:21 +0000

The purpose of this article is to give you some hints on how to set up coaching practice triads that are effective, supportive and meet the needs of all participants. The Observer may also want to use the feedback template when giving feedback to the Coach.

When You’re The Client

Pick a real issue … something that is current and relevant for you.
Remember the point of this is for the coach to practice, so pick your session topic accordingly.

When You’re the Coach

Actually coach … be yourself.
This is a space to try new things and take some risks.
Know what you’d like to get out of each practice session, and let your triad partners know (e.g. “I want to speak more succinctly” or “I’m working on letting go of the need for the client to change”)
Ask for specific feedback if you want it, and accept the feedback in the spirit it was intended. Try to resist the temptation to argue with the feedback or defend your choices.
Manage the time, and thank your partners for their efforts.

When You’re the Observer

Remember, you’re observing the coach, not coaching the client, so focus your attention on giving feedback to the coach.
Don’t divert attention away from the coach’s learning by offering suggestions to the client. If there’s something you want the client to know, write it down and send it as an email. Or reserve time at the end of the entire meeting to share those thoughts and observations.

Take notes of what seemed effective in the session. Writing down specific things the coach said is very helpful.
If you would have taken the session in a different direction, make note of that (when and how), but don’t get distracted by it. There are a million possible directions that a coach could go in at any given point.
Say what you’re reluctant to say, but be tactful. A sensitive way to give constructive criticism would be to say something like “If I had to pick one thing that would have strengthened your coaching, it would be …”
Always give two positive comments for every negative one, and limit your suggestions for improvement to two or three at the most. People can only absorb a small amount of criticism at a time.
Be concise and use specific examples.
Know what the Coach is working on (e.g. are they here to practice a particular coaching model? to practice not attaching to outcome?) and give feedback accordingly.
Make a note of the time, and if necessary remind the coach to wrap up.
Have relevant reference materials in front of you (e.g. CCEC model, IAC Coaching Masteries, ICF Core Competencies)
Remember that everyone coaches with their own flavor. The main thing to consider is “was it effective for the client?”

For The Triad In General

Make a commitment and stick to it. Your triad members are counting on you to show up every time.
Have an idea of what your goals are, and share them with your triad members.
Coach even if no one feels like coaching that day. Consistency is key to progress, and it’s very easy to let the triad slide into a general chitchat meeting.
Decide the time-keeping responsibilities (who’s timing the sessions, as well as the feedback period).
Know how long your sessions/evaluations will last and stick to the schedule to make the best use of everyone’s time.
Discuss ahead of time how long you’re agreeing to meet (typically triads agree to meet for two to three months and then reassess).
Agree on when you’ll reassess, and what things you’ll be reassessing.

For example: After 2 months we’ll talk about:

do we want to continue for another 2 months?
do we want to refocus our triad purpose?
is there something that has worked really well that we’d like to do more of?
is there something we’d like to change?
is there a system that needs to be put into place?

I’d like to thank Beth Lyons www.techiecoach.com for her significant input to this article.