Become A Certified Coach » coaching skills

What is Charge-Neutral? The Opposite of Drama Queen

Barbra — Sat, 02 May 2009 17:11:28 +0000

When coaching we strive to be “charge-neutral”. What does “charge-neutral” mean? Ruth-Ann Harnisch sums it up as “the opposite of a drama queen”. She goes on to explain:

Charge-neutral is a tone, an attitude, a way of being. It’s the opposite of a drama queen. It’s the non-judgmental way to approach a client.

Clients don’t need the coach’s approval or disapproval – the coach’s opinion should be kept out of the coaching relationship. The coach is not there to impose judgment or emotion – the coach is there to support the client. It’s not about the coach’s feelings – it’s about the client’s feelings.

My first coach showed me why this is so important…by judging me. I made a statement about an issue I was facing. The coach received this information and responded with a simple “Oh?” Imagine that word loaded with OPINION. In that moment, I knew the coach was not relating to me AT ALL

… friends, colleagues, proteges, others are welcome to my opinion, but my clients don’t need my judgment.

Coaching “Safety Net” Questions – For When Your Mind Goes Blank

Barbra — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 00:43:27 +0000

Have you ever had the experience of “going blank” while coaching? You know, it’s your turn to speak and your mind freezes?

It happens to all of us from time to time, particularly if we are coaching under challenging circumstances (such as being evaluated in an exam or training class). When it happens to me, I fall back on what I call my “safety net” questions. These are questions that work in pretty much any circumstance.

Using a safety net question helps the flow of the coaching conversation, takes the pressure off the coach and puts the focus back where it belongs – on the client (as opposed to on the c0ach and “what do I say next?”)

Here are my favorite safety net questions:

1. Tell me more about that.
2. I hear ______ in your voice.
3. Why is that important to you?

Listen to this audio that demonstrates the safety net technique in action – I think you’ll agree that these coaching questions really work!

How much practice to become a masterful coach?

Barbra — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 19:11:45 +0000

A member wrote this on the BACC forum today:

My goal this month is to find 5 ‘clients’ or classmates, to do more audio recordings. I’m offering free 30 minute coaching sessions in exchange for permission to record the session. My goal is to have 100 audio recordings to learn from.

I applaud her dedication and realistic assessment of how much practice is necessary to become a masterful coach. This is what I like to hear!

I’m surprised at how little practice some people think is necessary to become a masterful coach. I’ve had people bemoaning the fact that their coaching is not yet masterful, and when I ask them how many coaching sessions they’ve done they say 10 or 20. Sometimes even fewer.

Would any of us entrust our well-being to a professional practitioner (e.g. doctor, accountant) who has only 10 or 20 hours of experience? I don’t think so!

CCEC Coaching Model

Barbra — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 02:57:32 +0000

Click here to listen…

And click here to get the CCEC chart that shows how the four CCEC components relate to the IAC Coaching Masteries™.

I’ve developed a coaching model that is simple, easy to remember, and powerful. It has just four things to remember: Connect, Clarify, Expand and Create (CCEC). If you can remember to do these four things — Connect, Clarify, Expand and Create — in a coaching session, you will be coaching very well.

Here’s an elaboration of the four components of the CCEC coaching model:

Connect fully and deeply with the client
Clarify dynamics, motivation and information
Expand client awareness, knowledge and abilities
Create possibilities for full self-expression

We talked about this in our BACC members call on January 9. Click the link at the beginning of this article to listen to a 9 minute excerpt from that call. This audio explains more about how to use the CCEC model, and how the model relates to the IAC Coaching Masteries.

Note: the BACC program is now closed. We recommend the Coaching By Example CD series as it covers all the material previously offered in the BACC program.

Feedback Template for Coaching Triads

Barbra — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 21:37:36 +0000

This feedback template may be used as a guide for the Observer in a coaching triad to structure constructive feedback.

If time is limited ask Coach which of the three areas (skills, presence or expertise) they would most like feedback on.

Feedback Template

The Coach asked for specific feedback on ______________ and ____________.

1) COACHING SKILLS

The strongest thing I noticed about your coaching skills was …
This was particularly evident when…
If I had to suggest one area for improvement it would be …

2) PERSONAL PRESENCE

The gift you bring to others is your…
The impact it seemed to have on the client was…
An area to work on might be…

3) SUBJECT MATTER EXPERTISE

You really helped the client when you offered expertise in this area…
This was particularly evident when you said…
It would have been helpful if you had expertise in _______to offer.

Recap: when giving feedback in a practice triad…

* take notes so you can give specifics
* focus on feedback to coach, not ideas to client
* give two “positives” for every “negative”

Practice Triads for Coaches

Barbra — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 02:52:21 +0000

The purpose of this article is to give you some hints on how to set up coaching practice triads that are effective, supportive and meet the needs of all participants. The Observer may also want to use the feedback template when giving feedback to the Coach.

When You’re The Client

Pick a real issue … something that is current and relevant for you.
Remember the point of this is for the coach to practice, so pick your session topic accordingly.

When You’re the Coach

Actually coach … be yourself.
This is a space to try new things and take some risks.
Know what you’d like to get out of each practice session, and let your triad partners know (e.g. “I want to speak more succinctly” or “I’m working on letting go of the need for the client to change”)
Ask for specific feedback if you want it, and accept the feedback in the spirit it was intended. Try to resist the temptation to argue with the feedback or defend your choices.
Manage the time, and thank your partners for their efforts.

When You’re the Observer

Remember, you’re observing the coach, not coaching the client, so focus your attention on giving feedback to the coach.
Don’t divert attention away from the coach’s learning by offering suggestions to the client. If there’s something you want the client to know, write it down and send it as an email. Or reserve time at the end of the entire meeting to share those thoughts and observations.

Take notes of what seemed effective in the session. Writing down specific things the coach said is very helpful.
If you would have taken the session in a different direction, make note of that (when and how), but don’t get distracted by it. There are a million possible directions that a coach could go in at any given point.
Say what you’re reluctant to say, but be tactful. A sensitive way to give constructive criticism would be to say something like “If I had to pick one thing that would have strengthened your coaching, it would be …”
Always give two positive comments for every negative one, and limit your suggestions for improvement to two or three at the most. People can only absorb a small amount of criticism at a time.
Be concise and use specific examples.
Know what the Coach is working on (e.g. are they here to practice a particular coaching model? to practice not attaching to outcome?) and give feedback accordingly.
Make a note of the time, and if necessary remind the coach to wrap up.
Have relevant reference materials in front of you (e.g. CCEC model, IAC Coaching Masteries, ICF Core Competencies)
Remember that everyone coaches with their own flavor. The main thing to consider is “was it effective for the client?”

For The Triad In General

Make a commitment and stick to it. Your triad members are counting on you to show up every time.
Have an idea of what your goals are, and share them with your triad members.
Coach even if no one feels like coaching that day. Consistency is key to progress, and it’s very easy to let the triad slide into a general chitchat meeting.
Decide the time-keeping responsibilities (who’s timing the sessions, as well as the feedback period).
Know how long your sessions/evaluations will last and stick to the schedule to make the best use of everyone’s time.
Discuss ahead of time how long you’re agreeing to meet (typically triads agree to meet for two to three months and then reassess).
Agree on when you’ll reassess, and what things you’ll be reassessing.

For example: After 2 months we’ll talk about:

do we want to continue for another 2 months?
do we want to refocus our triad purpose?
is there something that has worked really well that we’d like to do more of?
is there something we’d like to change?
is there a system that needs to be put into place?

I’d like to thank Beth Lyons www.techiecoach.com for her significant input to this article.