Become A Certified Coach » Uncategorized

Blogging: The Courage to Show Up As Yourself

Barbra — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 21:22:18 +0000

Time and again I hear people say that what they enjoy reading the most on blogs is the personal stuff. Not personal as in “too much information that I’d rather not know about you” but personal as in “who are you really, and what do you really think?”

I was reminded of that today when scanning pilot program coach Cheryl’s blog. My eye scanned over the standard habit change articles (not that there’s anything wrong with them, just not news to me) and landed emphatically on a post titled Christians Are Not Weird. That one really caught my eye!

It takes courage to step out and be yourself. Way to go Cheryl :)

Great news from Jacqui: “I got my first paying client!”

Barbra — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 19:58:24 +0000

Just received this exciting email from pilot program coach Jacqui:

Hi Everyone,

Just have to share my exciting news – I have my first paying client – one to one sessions starting tomorrow!

Dare I say that this lady saw my poster, recognised my name from 20 years ago and has just phoned me.

Very exciting!

I’m so pleased for Jacqui, as she has been working very hard. Especially nice that the client came from the simple, inexpensive, low-tech technique of putting up posters.

How to view your subscriber list in MailChimp

Barbra — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 17:40:22 +0000

I’ve talked about the importance of having a mailing list for your coaching business. In the ReadyMade Coaching Program we set up a mailing list along with a free report for you, so you don’t have to do a thing. The program we use for the mailing list and autoresponder is called MailChimp.

However, sometimes you might want to view your subscriber list to see how many people you have signed up and where they are located in the world.

If you want to view your subscriber list in MailChimp, here’s how:

1. log in

2. go to Lists

3. you’ll see a number, and then underneath the words “View List”. Click on View List

4. Next screen brings up the subscribers. If you click on view beside the subscriber, you can where in the world they were when they signed up for the free report!

Marketing Follow-up

Barbra — Fri, 10 Sep 2010 15:24:24 +0000

One of the coaches sent me an accountability report today. I’ve put my reply in italics:

I’ve been handing out, and mailing, my business cards. I’ve also been tracking who I give them to, what response I get from them, and a note to myself about follow up actions, if any, I intend to take. For example, I told my husband to take some and feel free to give them to people he works with. I asked him how many he gave out. I’m waiting for his co-workers to call me, visit my site, send in a comment, or something. for feedback on your website; 2) if they or anyone they know would be interested in coming to your free workshop on X date 3) if you could come and give a talk at their workplace, school, club, place of worship.> I’ve given cards to my closest friends <Good start, now here are some ideas for followup: ask them to support you by coming to a free workshop, ask them for names of five people that they think might be interested in your workshop, invite them to your 6 week program.

Work-Life Integration: Great Idea or Dangerous Trend?

Barbra — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 01:04:25 +0000

The village of Montalcino in Tuscany

In the past three months I’ve been to Italy (in person), as well as India and the Phillipines (virtually). On the surface, Italy was personal, India was volunteer work and the Phillipines was for business. But here’s the thing: very little of what I do these days fits in discrete boxes.

Italy was a trip with my husband AND I’m writing a travel blog about it. India is a volunteer job AND I’ve made business contacts. Likewise, my Phillipines story has both a business and volunteer angle.

I’m thinking that for better or worse, the days of work-life separation are over. What do you think? Is this a dangerous trend or an exciting new reality? Please post your comments below.

How to Coach Anyone, Lesson #1

Barbra — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 20:01:13 +0000

Of all the coaching materials that Thomas Leonard produced in his lifetime, the How To Coach Anyone (HTCA) series of 68 lessons is my very favorite. In fact, I’d venture to say that much of what I know about coaching was learned from these lessons.

Although I have electronic copies of HTCA saved on my computer from my Coachville days, I’m eagerly awaiting my print copy of the just-released book to arrive in the mail.

And knowing how I feel about HTCA, Andrea Lee has kindly given me permission to share with you Lesson #1 – how to help a client who is “stuck”. Enjoy!

How do you help a client who is big time stuck with their goal and nothing you, or they, are doing seems to help?

It is NOT uncommon for a client to find themselves in this position.

Typically, “stuckness” indicates that…

The client needs a much bigger game to play.
If the goal is too small, some clients simply aren’t motivated enough to fire on all cylinders.

The client needs a smaller game to play.
If the goal is too large, some clients get overwhelmed or feel that they’ll never get there. So, either make the game smaller or identify important milestones along the way and target those.

The client’s paradigm needs to be shifted or expanded quickly.
If the client is thinking too small, or too historically, help them to upgrade their paradigm.

The client may need to start doing the opposite of what they’ve been doing.
Don’t laugh at this one. It can work. Just ask the client what would happen, or what they would feel if they started doing the opposite of what they’ve been doing to reach this goal. If nothing else, it’s a creative exercise. Remember, the client is stuck, and it’s not a natural state to be stuck, so sometimes a 180 or 90 degree turn is what’s needed.

The client doesn’t really want the goal even though they say they do.
I see this a lot. The client has a goal in mind but it’s actually a “should” goal vs. a “want” goal and so they don’t get very far with it. The trick is to help the client work on “want” goals, or to shift the “should” into a “want.” “Should” goals, while important, are likely to derail the client. “Want” goals, however, usually keep the client motivated. Again, it’s a cool coaching skill to help the client reframe or redesign a “should” goal into a “want” goal.

The client needs a very different goal.
In my experience, the client is rarely able to clearly, simply, and cleanly articulate what they most want, so an important part of the coaching process is to tease out what matters most to the client using words that are meaningful to them (vs. jargon, vague or Hallmark card, mushy language).

The goal needs a very different strategy.
There are many ways to cause an outcome; these are called strategies. Our job as a coach is to help the client find the most appealing and effective strategy that gets them from point A to point B without going through point Z. And if the client isn’t making progress with their goal, consider using a different approach/strategy instead.

The client may be concerned about perceived loss or consequences.
Hey, success can be very, very stressful because a person is replacing the old, the known and the familiar with something else. Welcome to evolution. Even if everything is going to be terrific when they reach their goal, the fear of losing someone’s love, their old friends, their routine, etc., can be more than enough to get a client stuck in the present.

The client is resisting the pressure they may be feeling from you.
Clients can be touchy. Sometimes, your eagerness is off putting, or the client will sense pressure if you’re more excited about or committed to the goal than they are. Clients may resist so much, they actually get stuck around the goal. If this happens, ask the client how much pressure they are feeling from you. And ask yourself whether you’re pushing, pulling or otherwise trying too hard.

The client’s environments are not properly set up to support this goal.
The types of goals that people set today are much more complex than the goals our parents set, and the environments we are surrounded by need to be tweaked in order to give us the 24/7 support we need. Environments include family, friends, networks, emotional environments, memes/concepts, paradigms, paradoxes, creative stimulation, performance support (like a coach), what we eat (for the energy we need) and how clean our energy is.

The client may need a break from coaching.
There comes a time when a client needs a break from you or a break from Coaching, but either they don’t know it, or they don’t want to tell you, so they “get stuck” and then have a reason/justification/explanation to opt out.

The client is just plain scared.
Sometimes, the goal is so exciting that it becomes overwhelming to the client and they get mired in the process. Find out if this is true and work on the distinction “excitement vs. fear.” It can be a subtle distinction. I’ve found that by identifying and then reducing/eliminating the perceived consequences of reaching the goal, the client can then move back toward excitement and away from fear.

The goal is not a clear enough expression of the client’s true values.
This happens a lot because the body slows/shuts down when goals aren’t aligned with one’s internal values. Work with the client on their top 5 values, and find the connection between the goal they are stuck on and the value that it expresses.

Questions to ask your client…

Do you know why you’re stuck?
If we back burner this goal, what goal would you rather work on?
Do you sometimes get stuck when you’re this close to reaching a goal?
Do you need a supportive kick in the pants?
Tell me what I should do in order to “un-stick” you in the next 10 minutes?
How much longer are you willing to be stuck on this?
Are you willing to try a backdoor approach to reaching this goal?
What else should we try?

Final thoughts…

Be patient, but don’t be the tail of the dog.
The client may need time to figure out what big changes to make in their life in order to reach this goal more easily, or perhaps they’ll need to select a very different goal instead. I’d give a client no more than 3 sessions to work it out and to have them propelled forward with plenty of energy to reach the goal or complete the project. Otherwise, it’s too tiring for both of you and it’s probably not even coaching by that point. Personally, I prefer to resolve this type of thing within 20 minutes. I don’t want it carried over to the next call.

Goals are meant to be exciting to reach.
If the client is resisting, laboring, complaining or just not into it, find another goal or develop another strategy that IS self-motivating. The alternative is that both you and your client get dragged down. Do NOT be afraid to require the client to pick another goal if the one they are working on isn’t getting anywhere. Abandon hope. Feel better. Move forward.

I hope this was helpful,

How to Coach on Life Purpose

Barbra — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 19:52:14 +0000

In our BACC coaching classes this month we are talking about the value of having a coaching “repertoire” – a set of tools and exercises that you can “pull out” in different coaching circumstances. You can listen to an excerpt of our class below.

Below are the class notes on the Life Purpose exercise (adapted from the book Co-Active Coaching, by Laura Whitworth).

Life Purpose Exercise

Instructions:

Read the visualization to the client, pausing after each sentence to allow the client time to process.
Debrief the visualization, and write down the themes or important words that the client shares.
Help the client draft an impact statement: I am the ___________ (a metaphor, such as “catalyst” or “tiger”) who ____________ (what impact the client wants to have in the world).

Visualization:

Imagine that you’re in a large group of people milling about in front of a stage. Up on the stage is your future self. Your future self begins to speak to this large group of people. Suddenly you become aware of a shift that has come over you and the entire audience. Your future self has in some way had a profound impact on you and on the rest of the people in the audience. You are all altered or changed in some fundamental way. Aware of this impact on yourself and others, you leave the room altered for the rest of your life.

Debrief Questions:

What was the impact your future self had on you and the others?
How were you and the others transformed?
Who was your future self being to have such an impact?

Do you have clients who would benefit from doing an exercise like this? Do you have other exercises you could recommend? If so, please leave a comment below. Thanks!

What is Charge-Neutral? The Opposite of Drama Queen

Barbra — Sat, 02 May 2009 17:11:28 +0000

When coaching we strive to be “charge-neutral”. What does “charge-neutral” mean? Ruth-Ann Harnisch sums it up as “the opposite of a drama queen”. She goes on to explain:

Charge-neutral is a tone, an attitude, a way of being. It’s the opposite of a drama queen. It’s the non-judgmental way to approach a client.

Clients don’t need the coach’s approval or disapproval – the coach’s opinion should be kept out of the coaching relationship. The coach is not there to impose judgment or emotion – the coach is there to support the client. It’s not about the coach’s feelings – it’s about the client’s feelings.

My first coach showed me why this is so important…by judging me. I made a statement about an issue I was facing. The coach received this information and responded with a simple “Oh?” Imagine that word loaded with OPINION. In that moment, I knew the coach was not relating to me AT ALL

… friends, colleagues, proteges, others are welcome to my opinion, but my clients don’t need my judgment.