How to Coach on Life Purpose

Barbra — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 19:52:14 +0000

In our BACC coaching classes this month we are talking about the value of having a coaching “repertoire” – a set of tools and exercises that you can “pull out” in different coaching circumstances. You can listen to an excerpt of our class below.

Below are the class notes on the Life Purpose exercise (adapted from the book Co-Active Coaching, by Laura Whitworth).

Life Purpose Exercise

Instructions:

Read the visualization to the client, pausing after each sentence to allow the client time to process.
Debrief the visualization, and write down the themes or important words that the client shares.
Help the client draft an impact statement: I am the ___________ (a metaphor, such as “catalyst” or “tiger”) who ____________ (what impact the client wants to have in the world).

Visualization:

Imagine that you’re in a large group of people milling about in front of a stage. Up on the stage is your future self. Your future self begins to speak to this large group of people. Suddenly you become aware of a shift that has come over you and the entire audience. Your future self has in some way had a profound impact on you and on the rest of the people in the audience. You are all altered or changed in some fundamental way. Aware of this impact on yourself and others, you leave the room altered for the rest of your life.

Debrief Questions:

What was the impact your future self had on you and the others?
How were you and the others transformed?
Who was your future self being to have such an impact?

Do you have clients who would benefit from doing an exercise like this? Do you have other exercises you could recommend? If so, please leave a comment below. Thanks!

Who Appreciates You?

Barbra — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 02:42:12 +0000

My first coaching teacher, the late Thomas J. Leonard, declared that we become like the 5 people we spend the most time with. That’s a powerful idea.

Consider this: even as adults we are subtly influenced by “peer pressure”. We tend to pick up on the attitudes, language and mood of the people we hang out with.

Think about the 5 people you spend the most time with. Do they embody a positive and compassionate attitude towards life? Or are they negative, cynical and blaming? How does that affect you?

Negativity drains your energy

Even if we are able to maintain a positive attitude in the face of others’ negativity, how much energy does that drain? What else could you be doing with that energy?

And how do they treat you? Note who you enjoy being around. A good rule of thumb is to ask yourself: after spending time with this person, do I feel stronger or weaker? Do I feel better or worse about myself? The answers can give you important clues regarding who to spend time with.

Don’t spend time with people who make you feel bad

Relationship coach Les Parrott identifies a few of the types of people who are likely to hurt us and drag us down:

Critics complain or give unwanted advice.
Wet blankets are pessimistic and habitually negative.
Gossips spread rumor and leak secrets.
Control freaks are unable to let go and let things be.
Backstabbers are irrepressibly two-faced.

If you want to be happy…

If you want to be a happy and productive person, choose to have people in your life who:

Treat you with love and respect.
Want the best for you as you define it.
Help you find out what you want to do and how to do it.
Encourage you to explore all your talents and interests.
Are thrilled when you succeed.
Listen to you when you need to complain.
Help you learn from failure without making you feel like a bad person.

Coaching assignment:

I encourage you to spend less time with negative or critical people and more time with those who appreciate you. You’ll notice a difference in how you feel about yourself and how much joy you experience. Remember: your presence is a gift – don’t waste it on those who don’t appreciate it.